I remember leaving primary 7 to move up to high school and the head teacher giving us a speech. The words that stuck with me “you have been the big fish in a little pond and now you’re going to be the little fish in a big pond”
I don’t really recall feeling like a fish at all and just got on with it but as I sit in a bar on the Southbank in London I feel like a very small fish. A very very little tiddler
How do I navigate this big pond aged 51?
The excitement of spending time in London overtook the reality of big city living and today I’ve cried.
The plan is to take what I’ve learned about the beauty and skin industries over the last 20 years to create a club where people like me and you can let off steam about the unfair and unrealistic expectations that are put on us as humans to strive for better, to look beautiful, to embrace “wellness”, to age backwards, to be kind, to buy more skincare/beauty products/supplements/smoothies/salads or whatever to stop time. We’re living in a world where if you’re not seen to be making an “effort” you become irrelevant and as I sit here wondering what to write about today all I feel is uncertainty and irrelevance
Dundee has a strong local community feel, there isn’t as much exposure to all the beauty brands and it’s easy for me to chat to you all from a place of comfort. London is jam packed with beauty, it’s a metropolis of skincare, make up, fashion. Chelsea must have about a million aesthetic clinics. So many faces are lifted, injected, made up, glossy, shiny and I wonder where all my hippies are at.
Having gone full circle in this fascinating industry I thought I understood beauty as an ethical ideal and how it affects self esteem. The goal is to make people feel big fish no matter the size of the pond and here I am feeling small fish
Fortunately I have bundles of resilience and know that this feeling will pass. It’s only day 6 and we had friends visiting all week so this is officially my first day on my own. I’ve put pen to paper and posting this to connect with you all
Next week I’ll be back on the east coast of Scotland rubbing your faces, working with you to maintain healthy skin and happy minds in the meantime I’m heading for a stroll along the water to integrate and grow my little fish fins
Love you ❤️